Today, something stirs my heart. “Are you still able to praise me when you are stress up, disappointed or in struggle?”That question is always hard to answer, isn’t it? So many things that go through our mind but sadly mostly are the doubt that we have and the “what-if” we have. Even myself seems like a positive person, have a downfall as well. It may not seems as it is big for others (haha since Heidi is always the happy one) but when things hits, it did seems big to me. Sometimes I even get the point of giving up but I can’t as giving up is just sad. You are technically stop everything you have done from the beginning, isn’t it a waste of your energy, strength and work when you decided to stop? I really can’t bare the “trash” or “waste” that I have to go through so I decided to rest and continue later. But then, don’t rest too much as well which may lead you to delay of work or even you don’t even feel motivated to do it.
How beautiful this love, You would lay down Your crown. Surrender Your throne in heaven So that I could be found How awesome is this love That conquered the grave Love that can move the mountains Yet knows me by name.
I remembered in previous semester (last year) was a tough one for me to praise, I rely on my own strength to carry on (haha, that finally Heidi falls too) no matter how much motivation I gave myself, I failed and fell. I even remembered I tried so hard to read His word and gospel music to stop the struggle that I go through but it still failed. I don’t understand why but as the year passed, I understand why. It is because I pushed by myself to love instead of allow Him to love me. My motives isn’t right as my motive was just “please take my pain, I listen and read your word now, please take it” instead of “God, I surrender with everything. Take over” willingly.
Even when the fight seems lost I’ll praise you Even when it hurts like hell I’ll praise you
Repost from March 6th, 2019