I always want a lot of things in my life but I never admit it. I always tell people, "you don't have to have a lot of things. because at least you have friends to support you, you have money to continue living, or you have this tiny puppy in your house for you to care". Something like that. But somehow a part of my heart/mind wish to have more. I mean who doesn't? I may be a loud person and extrovert if you normally see Heidi like that, I may have a lot of "friends" that you felt that "how can I be Heidi?". But let me tell you, I am not as perfect or wow as you think. I may have a lot of "friends" but only a few I can count that called me as their friend (you know who you are). Those who really check on me, they know, they know I have a few friends that really called me as their friend.
I was reminded by a church leader about this as I felt hopeless that I could not have a proper celebration to celebrate my D-day due to MCO (movement control order). When you read this, you may really laugh at me, and think, "like that also feel hopeless ah?". Even writing this out, I felt my image drop to 100 feet under the sea or I should just stay in the cave and never come out. HAHA! Well, because I treasure my D-day a lot. You know, I really look forward this year D-day because I did not celebrate properly last year due to some circumstance (yeap, some personal deep stuff). Already did not celebrate once last year, I tell myself that I won't miss it this year. But after heard another extension of MCO, I felt my heart crushed again, this time was deep than before. But after my church leader told me and comfort me. She is right. I may have friends who will wish me happy birthday and stuff through online but how about those who long to celebrate with me after MCO is lifted or even those who take time to book to have a chat with me or etc? I was doubtful, I was stubborn and accept the comfort anyway.
But today, writing this, I think of it again. How can I not listen to the advice that I gave every time? And a song, "even if" by Mercyme triggered me to write this. Even if I have a lot of "friends" but what about those a few ones that care for me more than I care for others? There are always reasons why God placed me around people to be salt and light. But this is the time that God truly wants to bless me with a hand full of people that I least expected.
So let me end this with this quote I wrote, "Let's be happy, shall we? What is the big deal of not having many things when you got me?".
No one said this to me before but I know those who care for me acted the same as this quote. Thank you, my hand full of friends.