Hey readers who want to know and read about this.
This is actually the category on "writing: notes that you can ignore"
You are so right about my post based on the topic. Yeap, I used to like him without him knowing for 2 years plus. I know him in church. Served with him. Same ministry as him. Well, we talked but I don't think that he knows I like him. Well, he is my crush till it becomes I love, hmm, one-sided love. But sadly, we never become one. He is a guy that I like without me judging his appearance. People that know me were shocked too when I told them about this (is okay, I only tell a few people) as they know, I am a typical girl who wants my partner to be tall, and thin. Why do I like him? Because it is beyond that, appearance. He looks at my vibes and my personality, same to me too. Even there was once, I really thought he gonna confess to me, "there is this thing I want to tell you face to face, one day". That one day never comes. We have some common grounds but half of it was really opposite what I like. But I tried to like what he likes. I am always the one that approaches him, but only a few times he approaches me. I tried to like to the extent.
I write in my notes, on 1st October 2018, this:
I want him but is not the time yet.
I want him but I just afraid to make the first move.
I want him because he makes me smile even from a distance.
I want him but I could not turn away when he passes me by.
I want him because thinking of him makes me sleep well.
I want him because I wish I have the guts to be normal and have a conversation instead of thinking of him as “a person I like”.
I want him because he sings well.
I want him because he is the first guy that I don’t judge by appearance but the heart.
I want him because he is nice, amazing, talented.
I want him because just because.
How silly I am. I hope so much to want him but he did not notice. Slowly that feeling left slowly after 2 years plus. Do I still have feelings for him? Well, somewhat but not crazy. Why do I like about him? Hmm, he checked all the criteria that I want in a guy except height and playing games. How to even make him like me, when he said, "I am the guy who has principle. I don't go out one to one with girls"?
There is so much to say about him but looks like I have to keep it to myself, forever.
Written on 10th March 2020